Alone

One of the symptoms of depression is not wanting to be with others and losing interest in activities.  These symptoms can occur with mild to severe depression.  During my mild depression, I just didn't want to do anything with my family or daily things like going to the grocery or doing dishes.  All I wanted to do was sit and/or sleep.  However, during my deepest depression, I would stay in bed all day in the dark with my door closed.  Sometimes I would turn my phone off and just disconnect.  Doing this made it easier for me because I didn't have to lie to anyone when they asked 'how are you?'  Plus if I stayed home no one could tell what kind of mood I was in.  It is extremely difficult for me to disguise how I'm feeling.  I do not "fake it" well.  

Later in my years of depression after a lot of counseling, I was encouraged to find activities to do and just force myself to go.  I will have to admit this was a very big challenge for me.  However, what did help was when I got involved in a woman's group at church and volunteering.  Not only did this help me find friends and people I could trust, it forced (for lack of a better word) me to get out of the house.  I am a responsible person so I don't want to let anyone down, therefore, it was not easy for me to back out of something I said I would do.  Amazingly enough, after I went to the activity, whatever that would be, i.e. church, activities with family, dinner and a movie with friends, etc., I felt so much better that I went.  So I encourage you to find something to do to help get out of depression.  So let me encourage you to just take that first step.  Small steps are better than no steps!!!  

Depression is like a car wreck

There are days you are just driving along in life looking at the scenery, thinking about all kinds of different things, maybe singing to the radio then WHAM someone hits your car.  Instantaneously that moment changes through no fault of your own.  You had control of you and your vehicle.  You were minding your own business.  Then out of the blue one thing that took a couple of seconds to happen has now caused your day and the future days to change.  Depression can be like a car wreck. 

I have had a couple of car wrecks in my life time; one was a fender-bender and one totaled my car.  The fender-bender happened because someone wasn’t paying attention and didn’t stop at a red light and ran into me.  This accident did not cause harm to anyone, but it did damage my vehicle.  I was able to drive home and we had to get an estimate and then get it fixed.  It made things a little inconvenient but not major.  

Sometimes, depression can be similar to a fender-bender.  It can be a trigger which can throw you off balance just a little.  Things like someone hurt your feelings, you made a mistake at work which drops your self-esteem, someone you love disappointed you, etc.

The second wreck I was on the highway slowing down for construction and the person who hit me was coming over a hill and did not see me.  They did not slow down and they were going about 60-65 mph.  I remember looking in the lane beside me, looking directly in front of me and then was hit…… 1-2-3.  It happened that fast.  This altered my life a lot for quite some time.  This caused injuries, surgery, time of work, no vehicle, and a lot of paper issues for months afterwards.

And sometimes depression can be similar to a major crash.  This is similar to a major depressive shift.  It can be caused from not setting boundaries and allowing hurts to come back into your life that you cannot control.  Your body can change causing your medication to not work like it has previously.  Sometimes there is no answer to why this happens, but it does and it is a big deal to someone who is depressed and working so hard to manage life.  You could have a car wreck, death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc.  

Those of us who have been through car wrecks know that things can change in an instant.  Depression is no different.  You can go from being excited about something and the next day you are crying and angry.  It is a challenge for those of us who deal with these unexpected situations to understand what’s going on.  But it is really confusing for those around us who have never personally dealt with depression.  

I would like to encourage you to have the people in your life read this blog to see if it can help them understand what it feels like for us when these things happen which in turn may help them to understand what it feels like for us.  

The Struggle is Real!

I just recently learned people are 40% more likely to commit suicide in January than any other time.  All this time I thought it was in December.  My logic was the difficulties of the holidays whether it be finances, loneliness, grief, changes in life over the last year, etc.

So as I thought about the reason, it kind of makes sense.  There is this hype or buildup to the holidays; good or bad.  The stress level is difficult even in the best of circumstances.  We are have gifts to buy, and we feel the need to meet or better last year's gifts and experiences.  There are parties or events to attend.  We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not coming to their party or family time together; so there's that weight of guilt and decision making.  For those of us who struggle with depression, the season multiples these feelings.

Then the holidays are over.  Relieved?!  Let down?  Families from out of town went home.  Bills start coming in for the charges we made to pay for gifts.  That's when I understood about the increase in suicide.

So, what is the solution?  Understand you are not alone and what you are feeling is real.  Everyone is all about New Year's resolutions right now and my advice is to make a resolution to just take one day at a time.  Obviously, you can't pay off the credit cards in a month, so make your goals small.  Decide to let go of your guilt about things you couldn't do during the holidays.  Maybe send cards or make a call to those people you were not able to spend time with.  Last but not least, take some time to jot down the good things that happened during the holidays.  This way you can end on a good note and visibly see the good which will help to make a good choice to move forward with a positive note!  Please don't commit suicide---you WILL be missed.  The struggle is real, but you have made it this far!!!!

Tools to help depression: Writing

I don't know about you, but I always want something tangible to have or do to help me with my depression and usually I want it FAST!  Writing is something most of us can do at any given time.  This is one of the things that has helped me at my darkest times of depression and during the calm.  

When I was a little girl, I loved to write.  I would play teacher and write on the chalkboard.  I would make up lesson plans writing everything down for all of my students (this was back in the day when there were no computers or typewriters for that matter).  In elementary school, we spent a lot of time practicing printing and cursive which I enjoyed very much.  Then in junior high school when we didn't have to write the "correct" way, I practiced making letters differently and uniquely.  I practiced signing my name in different ways.  I have even started to learn calligraphy.

I'm sure you have heard people talking about journaling or writing down your thoughts.  Many are overwhelmed just thinking about this the same way you felt when you had to do a school report.  You had to make sure your sentences were grammatically correct and they didn't end in a preposition.  Your paragraphs had to end and begin with a flow, etc.  Well, the good thing about writing this way is none of that matters. 

There was this exercise the teachers used to have us do when we had to come up with a topic for a paper.  They would give us five minutes to write anything and everything that came to our mind.  We didn't have to write in sentences.  Nothing had to be grammatically correct.  We were just to write everything that came to our minds.  This is the kind of writing I am talking for now.

Because depression has such a stigma and many of us don't want to share this with others, we tend to keep things inside.  Counselors and psychiatrists say holding things in causes us more stress.  My thoughts though were 'there is no one to talk to or that I want to tell all of these things to', so what am I supposed to do with that.  I was encouraged to write.  Actually, I wrote even before I was told it could be cathartic.  I found that as I was writing I did get some relief.  Sometimes I figured out problems.  Sometimes I wrote feelings down I didn't know I had.  Sometimes I just wrote.  

You may be thinking 'where do I begin'?  It is super easy.  Get your favorite writing tool i.e. pen, pencil, crayon, markers, etc.  Get a piece of paper i.e. plain, lined, construction, etc.  Take these things with you when you are watching TV, in the bathroom, soaking in the tub, on an airplane, vacation, watching the kids at the park.   Anywhere.  Then, write the first thing that comes to your head.  Here are some of the ways I have written over time which may help:

*  I have written about what happened that made me happy, sad, mad....

*  I have written a letter to the person I'm upset with (but never gave it to them)

*  I have written a letter to God telling Him what was going on and my feelings

*  I have just written single words that came to me

* I have actually written EEEERRRRGGGGHHHH over and over and over again because I didn't know what to write and that was my written form of yelling

There are absolutely no rules when it comes to writing.  It can be any way you want which is another thing I like about writing....I don't have to follow any rules or guidelines; I get to do it my way and so can you.  My dad used to carry a notepad the size of his shirt pocket.  You can do whatever you want; make it plain, simple, or fun.  I have made shopping trips to Office Depot to find new ink pens, special colored ink pens, notebooks, and journals.  I even love to go school supply shopping just to see the new writing stuff.  

You can do whatever works for you.  Give it a try.  Start simple and slow.  See if it helps, it's worth a shot, right?

Walkin It Thru: Storms: A Walk through Depression

Walkin It Thru: Storms: A Walk through Depression: I'm so excited to share with you my book with you!  My desire is to help others with things I have gone through.  My prayers is that th...

Storms: A Walk through Depression

I'm so excited to share with you my book with you!  My desire is to help others with things I have gone through.  My prayers is that this will help at least one person!!!!  Sandy 

https://www.amazon.com/Storms-Walk-through-Depression/dp/1546731237/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510446434&sr=8-1&keywords=storms%3A+a+walk+through+depression&dpID=41NUDekgvzL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

Depression Lies

“Do not believe the things you tell yourself when you are sad and alone” unknown

Depression twists our thoughts. It will try to control your life by controlling your thoughts. Don’t be held captive by its lies.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

13 Reasons Why

You probably have heard of this show, 13 Reasons Why, either from the news, your children, friends, or coworkers.  Many people, including myself, had the same reaction 'they are glorifying suicide' especially in our children.

This show is based on a high school teenagers time in high school.  So, guess who is watching it?  You are right, our children/teenagers.  Since I am so passionate about helping people with depression and thoughts of suicide, I was intrigued by this show.  I wanted to see what it was all about and form my own opinion.  I have to say the story line drew me in and I can also see why our children, hopefully 13 and up, are watching this show.  It is because they can relate to it; NO, not trying to commit suicide, but it is relatable to what goes on in some of their daily lives.

This show talks about:

* Bullying
* Peer pressure
* Alcohol
* Sex
* Gay/Lesbians
* Rape
* Lies
* Cutting


This show is extremely graphic, has a lot of bad language, fighting, and more.  It is hard to watch at times.  If it was a movie, I would not watch it because of everything in it.  However, I saw some of the same things happen to the person who committed suicide as to the feelings I have felt.

* I have felt like people were talking behind my back.
* I have felt like no one liked me.
* I have felt peer pressure even as an adult.
* I have felt like I was never good enough.
* I have felt I should do more to make others happy.
* I have felt like others would be better off without me around.

I have had each of these feelings as a child, teenager, and as an adult.  You see depression isn't just in adults.  These young people struggle with so many things.  As adults, most of us don't understand how to handle what we are feeling.  Many of us are embarrassed to admit we need help let alone get help so if we have trouble coping, you know they have to.

Most children/teenagers don't understand how they feel or what they are feeling so therefore, why should we expect them to know how to manage these feelings. It is our responsibility as parents, mentors, etc to help them.  We need to help them understand what they are feeling and how to manage it.  I believe we should let them know it is okay to have feelings, but suicide is not the way out.

For me, this show is just a reminder of the struggles for any of us, adults or kids.  Again, suicide should not be the option for any of us.  No matter what you are going through, THERE IS A WAY OUT!!

There are people who care and people you can reach out too:

Churches
Suicide Hotlines
Teachers
Crisis Hotlines
Al-Anon Groups
Alcoholics Anonymous Groups
National Alliance of Mental Health Groups.

Forgive yourself; It's freeing!

Many of us expect a lot more out of ourselves than we do from others.

Standards set as a child by parents can carry into adulthood.  If you were scolded because you didn't make good enough grades or were always getting in trouble for something, you feel one of two things.  You may feel like you don't measure up to anyone's standards and/or you may feel like you don't even meet up to your own standards.  Sometimes the expectations others put on us, whether parents, teachers, or friends, cause us to feel like we have to be perfect or as close to perfect as we can possibly get.

I know as a young adult I would compare myself to other families.  Families I knew who sat down at dinner every night and shared their stories from the day.  I found myself comparing my family to families on TV shows or movies.  These are just a couple.  However, when you compare yourself to others, you cause yourself to feel unnecessary guilt.  Later on in life, I learned that as a family it was okay to be the kind of family we were and "I" did not have to feel guilty for not obtaining those things I was comparing myself to.  There was nothing wrong with our family if we didn't sit down to dinner every night.  Things worked out and life was fine.

Last but definitely not least, I put goals and expectations on myself and when I don't complete them I would put myself down and be really disappointed.  It could be anything from not completing a project to not learning as fast as others.  Often times I find myself saying, "See you never finish anything, what a loser".  When really what is thing big deal if I don't finish something.  Maybe I'll come back later and finish it or  maybe that wasn't the right timing for something.

Being an adult is hard!  Right?!  I sometimes say "I don't want to play anymore".  It's hard.  However, through a lot of therapy and soul searching, I discovered I'm okay just the way I am.

Try writing a forgiveness letter.  It is actually very cathartic.  I literally wrote, "I forgive you for _________".  When writing things down, we can see what is in our head and we remember it more.  I actually felt better.  It feels freeing and it helps stress go away.  It's not even a bad idea to do this as often as you need to.

Forgive yourself.  God forgives you so why won't you!

The Hard Truths About Life with Mental Illness

DISCLAIMER:  I found this writing below on something I read.  I had to share it because I feel it is dead on about how many of us feel.  Hope it helps!

OK, real talk. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of feeling crappy all the time. I’m tired of always reading the situation, watching and waiting for anxiety to pounce. I’m tired of depression ruining a good week. I’m tired of feeling short-tempered and cranky because my moods change so frequently and intensely.

I hate that insomnia and I have become reluctant friends, and sleep and I aren’t talking. I hate hating myself. I hate blaming myself. I hate hurting. I hate hurting others because I’m hurting. I hate seeing my relationships hurt and fall apart. I hate not having energy or interest in much, if anything. I hate fighting, and I hate losing.

Almost every day now, I convince myself recovery is a pipe dream. I see where I’ve been, I see where I am and I see how many millions of miles away recovery is. I know it’s not getting any closer. I’m not getting any better. I’m getting worse, and I’ve been getting worse for a long time.

I’m not saying this to throw my own pity party. I’m saying this, here in this space, because I know you’ve said it too. At least once, maybe many more times than that. We all know mental illness sucks big time. It’s a fact of life. However, knowing this, knowing what we face every day, knowing what we’ve gone through and knowing what we will go through is just going to be as bad if not worse, makes us some bad ass warriors.

So, yes. This sucks. We can go ahead and throw the blame around on God, genetics, the environment or our upbringings. The fact remains that we are stuck with these illnesses — but, we have learned to live with them.

We have learned how to celebrate our good days and manage our bad days. We have learned what helps and what doesn’t. We have learned how to cohabitate with these snakes in the grass. We have indeed made progress from where we were.

So, even if we have a million miles to go toward recovery, we can look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “Even if I only take one small step today, I got this.” We do indeed got this because we are finding our strength every day. We are fighting every day. Even though it doesn’t always feel like it, we are indeed winning every single day. We got this.

Stay strong.

During the Good Times

I have found over the years when the bad times happen, when depression has kicked into high gear, I do not want to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone, etc.  Most of us with mental illness can relate to this in similar ways.  Many times when things are bad, I cannot talk myself into doing anything, even answer text messages.

In previous blogs, I've talked about things we can do during the bad times to help us through.  However, what I have discovered for me is I need to decide what to do during the good times so when the bad times come I have a plan in place.

1) Get an accountability partner.  This can be a good friend, coworker, pastor, classmate, etc.  You need someone you can trust and understands what you need.  When you call them, you don't have to go into details; just make up a couple of words so they know you need help; help to encourage you to get out of bed, show up to work, class, church, etc.

2) Decide to take a bath or a shower.  This seems like an obvious simple thing, but in the middle of depression it is not.  Most of the time if I can get away with it and know that I don't have to see anyone, why take a shower is my thought.  It is amazing what a simple shower or bath can do for your mental welfare.  Make the decision to drag yourself into the bathroom and clean up, even it is a 3 minute event.

3) Decide to walk outside and stand in the sun for 5-10 minutes.  Sunlight is a source of vitamin D which plays a role in our depression.

4) Do not cancel commitments.  Go to class, your child's school event, a friend's baby shower, church, work, etc.

Again, these things may seem silly to people who do not struggle with a mental illness.  But during the good times when depression is under control, we need to make decisions on what we need to do when depression is out of control.  This can help us through!!!

Boundaries for the Holidays

Boundaries.  What comes to mind when you hear that word?  Good? Bad?  Boundaries is like a fenced in yard that keeps you from getting out and getting hurt, but it also keeps bad things from getting inside the fence which can protect you.  It's all in the way you look at it.  

One day someone explained how boundaries can protect me.  She said you have to know your limitations.  For instance, I know that I cannot bake something every night of the week, stay up late, find an outfit for a party that weekend, work on Christmas cards, and still get enough rest to go to work the next day AND not be stressed.  So, for me, I know I have to either give something up or delegate.  Knowing this has helped my stress level immensely, made me happier, and I enjoy things a lot more.  However, setting boundaries takes practice, but again we need to change our thinking because once we get used to setting boundaries life will be more enjoyable.

In the past, it was very difficult for me to say no to anyone.  Due to that reason, there came a time in my life where I had to make a choice (set a boundary).  I put stress on myself by feeling I had to accomplish certain things AND I found it extremely difficult to say no.  To decrease my stress level, I had to decide what things I could give up and what things I could handle.  Basically, I was setting boundaries.    

Here are some examples of things to consider setting boundaries on:

* Christmas cards and/or pictures for Christmas cards

* Buying gifts and how much to spend (which will help your budget)

* How many parties do we go to

* Where do we make the cut off of who to buy gifts for

* Who's house do we go to for each holiday and how many in one day

* Oh My Gosh, can we tell Aunt Sally we cannot come to her house this year when we have went there for the last 5-10 years

Now, you are probably thinking 'I can't tell Aunt Sally I won't be there for dinner and we have to buy Uncle Pete's daughter's child a gift for Christmas', right?

I didn't say this would be easy, but I believe you might feel relieved; I definitely have.  I'll be honest, each year something comes up and it is difficult to set a boundary, but I have to do it for my health.  I now know what happens to me when I don't set a boundary; my personal stress level goes up, I become irritable and impatient.  

I'm finally more aware of my triggers so I know where to set my boundaries.  There are things I have chosen not to do anymore at the holiday time.  I have had to stop a couple traditions.  I plan ahead and know who I'll buy gifts for and how much I'll spend.  This did not all happen at once though, but each one has helped my physical and psychological well being.  

Warning:  People will not like it when you set boundaries, because when you set boundaries they don't get "their" way.  But if I don't set boundaries, I'm the one who pays the price not them.  A very dear friend taught me two statements many years ago that have been so so helpful for me: 

1) I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to do that.

2) Let me check my schedule and I'll get back to you.

Start thinking now about what you want your holiday season to look like.  Set your boundaries now.  Start practicing the statements above.  I have had to practice saying them out loud over and over to help me in certain situations which might come up.  It seems silly, but if it is difficult for you to tell people no or feel like you are letting them down, practicing saying these things may just help you.

Send me a comment of your thoughts and ideas about how manage your holidays and boundaries you use.  Your comments could help many others.  May your holidays be set with boundaries that bring you peace.

S.A.D. - Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder kind of sounds like something to do with allergies, huh?  Well, not the case, but it could effect just as many people.  

This disorder is a type of depression which occurs usually in autumn and winter.  This is the time of year when the days get shorter and dark. The reason it occurs mostly during the winter months is due to lack of sunlight. Other situations in which people don’t get enough sunlight include cloudy or rainy periods at other times of year, living in dark places and working for long hours in dark offices. Whenever there is insufficient sunlight, those people who are vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder may develop symptoms.

The symptoms include fatigue, depression, crying spells, irritability, trouble concentrating, body aches, poor sleep, decreased activity level and over eating.  

Women are about four times as likely to develop SAD as are men. During the winter months, people with SAD are less able to handle stress than they are at other times of year. 

There are several ways to treat SAD and combining the treatments can make things better. 

1) Light therapy - Because SAD is triggered by decreased light.  You can get outdoors more.  You can bring more lighting into your home or office with regular lamps.  There is also phototherapy which can be purchased in the form of light boxes.  I use one every morning while getting ready for work.  I know people who put them on their treadmill in the morning when working out.  If interested look into it or email me.

2) Stress Management - Winter months also come with holidays which obviously brings even more stress than normal.  People with SAD have a decreased ability to handle stress which can cause them to go into a deeper depression.  Refer back to some of my previous blogs on ideas to help handle these triggers.

3) Counseling - For me, my counselor and psychiatrist are very essential.  It has helped me regain stability.  They will also help with ideas for you specifically on how to handle this time in your life.

4) Prescribed antidepressant medications - If you are aware this disorder affects you, the more you incorporate the above suggestions, the more it could reduce you needing antidepressants if at all.  For me since I take antidepressants, we usually just have to make an adjustment through this time and then once the season changes, we go right back to the original medication.

5) Watch your diet - Yuck, who wants to be told that, right?  However, if you are one of us who have SAD, we often crave sweets and starches i.e. all the weight gaining foods.  This is a bad cycle because these foods make you feel good for a short time, then you feel tired, and if you are like me, you want to eat more.  This is an extremely difficult task for me as I am already a stress eater, so when you add SAD to it.....Well, you can figure out the rest.

I encourage you to do a self-check to see if this is something that might be going on.  Even if you do not have a diagnosis of a mental disorder, this can still affect you.  Don't be afraid and think you will be on medication the rest of your life if that is suggested to you by a professional.  But I know it has helped me and others I know to manage this time of year.  

Isn't it worth it to feel better during this time of year?

Walkinitthru?????

I came up with the title of my blog and Facebook page because during my journeys of depression there were times I just did not want to function.  Some times were harder than others.  Many times I could not get out of bed and did not want to get out of bed.  Functioning was not something I felt I could do mentally and physically.

Many people think you can just put your big girl or boy drawers on and go.  At times, it is not possible.  It is not about sucking it up and moving.  It is a mental issue/disorder.  It is something medical; a disease with a diagnosis.  It is similar to being diagnosed with hypertension, cancer, diabetes, etc.  You are diagnosed with a mental disorder of some type.

You hear people say 'one day at a time'.  Sometimes if I could get through one task at a time it was encouraging to me.  But A LOT of the time it was one minute at a time.  The thought of having to move was almost unbearable. 

So walkinitthru is something each of us have to and need to choose to do every single day.  It could be baby steps, minute by minute or day by day.  I encourage you to try with all your might to set a goal to walk, move or think yourself towards a goal.  When we have a goal and we accomplish it, it encourages us and makes us feel good and like we can do it again.  My desire to help you with these blogs and Facebook posts is to encourage you to do just that. 

If I can help in any way, please comment back or send an email to sandy@walkinitthru.com.  I would love to help in anyway I can!!!

Back to School (Happiness or Sadness)

It’s that time of year again.  Can you believe it?  August AND back to school time.  This time of year can stir up a lot of feelings for a variety of individuals.  In this day and time, we have kids who go to public and private schools.  We have stay-at-home moms and dads.  We have home schooling.  We have caregivers/parents/guardians who work as well.  Along with the variety of individuals as well as the variety of schooling, people can have a lot of anxiety as well as depression.

Words that come to my mind when I hear back to school is money, clothes, school supplies, shopping, bullying, safety issues, etc.  It is very expensive to get all the items needed for school.  Safety issues in this day and time have deemed it to make things very specific like clear backpacks, etc.  We now have to purchase hand sanitizer and more tissues and no pointy scissors.  Then, if you do not like to shop, it makes it worse.  Sadly enough, people are almost as pushy and vicious during this time of year as they are on Black Friday.  Right?!  

Clothing is just as bad.  Some schools require uniforms which cannot obviously be purchased easily although it is getting better than it used to be.  Some schools have a dress code regarding the sayings on T-shirts, how short you can wear your shorts, and how much shoulder you can show with girls tops.  There are even schools where you cannot wear certain colors due to gang problems. 

Now, if you home school obviously some of this may not apply.  However, you have to get organized from a teacher’s point of view.  You have to be prepared on things you want to teach and supplies you have to buy.  She have to work on managing teaching time as well has keep up a household.  

Then there is another issue maybe not talked about as much which is stress because their children are going back to school and they will be all alone.  Many moms and dads are excited the kids are going back to school so the house will be less cluttered and quieter and the electric bill may even go down from the doors opening and closing all the time.  Some people have anxiety and depression because their children are going back to school.  The feelings of not being needed surface.  Sometimes having an idle mind or being alone is difficult.  

Here are some ideas to help you in some of these areas no matter which way you feel:

·         Get someone to do your school supply shopping for you (as a grandma I enjoy doing that)

·         Shop on line for school supplies and clothes

·         Make a lunch date with a friend and do it together

·         If you aren’t an organized person, find someone who loves to do that and have them help or do it for you

·         If you don’t like being alone, find an activity to do during school hours when you kids are at school

·         Make a new friend

·         Volunteer

·         Work on holiday things now so you aren’t so stressed out at holiday time.  If you get started on it now, you will be able to enjoy the holidays and be less stressed then

·         Read

·         Find new recipes

·         Find a project

These can be difficult times for different reasons.  Since you already know certain things cause anxiety and/or depression, your best plan of action is to plan ahead.  This will help keep you in a good place!!! 

MOVIES

Have you ever wanted to know what the future looks like in your life?  

When I am depressed is usually when I want to know what’s going to happen in the future.  The reason being is I want to know when all this pain and struggle is going to end.  It seems like time crawls at a turtle’s pace, and sometimes it feels like I am trying to walk through quicksand during my depressive episodes.  

The questions I ask myself are:

*   When will this depression stop?

*   Will I ever be happy or in a good mood?

*   When will I ever feel like doing activities again?

*   Are there good things in the future for me?

Something came across my mind the other day about movies and how they relate to our lives.  Think about this for a minute.  When you are watching a movie with different stories going on at the same time, you, as the person watching, knows what is happening in each story.  You can see all story lines at the same time and know what is about to happen.  Obviously, the person in the story, however, does not.  I find myself saying “no don’t do that” or “no don’t say yes to the marriage proposal, he’s been cheating on you”, etc.  Or maybe the person doesn’t want to take a risk and you can see all the good things that would come from it if they just said yes.  But, as you know, the person in the movie has no idea what is about to happen.  

I think this is kind of what our lives are like and God is watching us in the movie.  God knows what is about to happen, good or bad.  God has given us a choice.  He is not a puppet master.  He lets us make our own choices in every area of our lives.  He’s the one saying “no don’t say yes to that marriage proposal” or “say yes there are such good things ahead for you”.  

My point is to keep moving.  But because God knows what is going to happen in the “movie” called our life, we should ask Him which way to go.  Trust God in that direction.  Ask trusted people in your life to help you, as sometimes when we are in a depressed state we cannot see outside our circumstances.  God talks to us through others.

Just know there are good things coming in your life; DON’T GIVE UP, PLEASE!!!  You wouldn’t want to miss out.  Keep hanging on.  Keep telling yourself I can make it.  BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!  IT IS WORTH IT AND SO ARE YOU!!!!!

Depression

Just like in a previous blog talking about the different types of anxiety, there are different types of depression; mild and severe depression.  Mild is temporary usually caused by something like the death of a loved one or a medical condition which once treated the depression goes away.  Severe depression is chronic (ongoing/persistent).  There are several titles, if you will, for depression.  You might hear it referred to as clinical depression, major depression, or major depressive disorder.  They all mean the same thing.

Most of us who have severe depression do not want others to know it.  The stigma of depression makes us want to keep it hidden.  There are different stigmas placed on groups of people such as ethnicity, racial, criminals, and people with certain diseases.  Severe depression does not just go away over time.  Most of us diagnosed with this need counseling and/or medication.  However, it can be managed.  We can manage it with those things.  Also knowing where it comes from and why we have it can give us some power and control.  It can help us manage our depression and help us understand we are not "abnormal" and we have nothing to be ashamed of.  Being diagnosed with severe depression is no different than being diagnosed with hypertension.  Our brain is an organ just like our heart and sometimes different organs in our body need help to make them function correctly.

When you go to doctor to get help with any medical problem, they always ask questions.  This helps them decide which avenue they need to take to come to a diagnosis and a plan for treatment.  It is the same with depression because, again, it is a medical condition NOT a mental condition.  Some of the questions you might be asked are:

*  Do you feel sad, empty, or tearful a lot?
*  Do you have decreased interest in activities?
*  Have you had significant weight gain, weight loss, and/or increased or decreased appetite?
*  Have you had insomnia or an increased desire to sleep more?
*  Have you had loss of energy or feel fatigued often?
*  Do you have feelings of worthlessness or excessive feelings of guilt?
*  Have you been having difficulty making decisions or trouble concentrating?
*  Have you been having recurrent thoughts of death or suicide or a suicide attempt?

If you can answer yes to at least 5 of the above questions with the symptoms lasting most of the day or all day for over a two-week period, you could be diagnosed with severe depression.

It is not easy to answer these questions especially if you answer yes to them.  We don't want to admit it to ourselves, but you can get help!!!!  Just like you would get help for hypertension, a sinus infection, diabetes, etc., severe depression can be treated as well.  Please consider this for yourself or forward it to someone who it could help.

On a side note, the above is medical information you could find on the internet or by going to your physician, but I would like to say one thing that was personally freeing for me.  Christians can have depression too.  My pastor said 'God loves you and does not want you to feel this way'.  My pastor believes and I believe as well, God has provided us with physicians who can help us get well or manage our illness.  Why not use everything in our arsenal to get better whether it is medication, counseling, prayer, etc.  Use them all so you can get better and live the life you are meant to live!

If you have any questions or just need to talk, please email me personally at sandy@walkinitthru.com.

If blessings were raindrops, how wet would you get?

I heard this saying on a Christian radio station and it really caught my attention.  If blessings were raindrops, how wet would you get?  I started really contemplating and visualizing this concept.  How wet would you get?  I bet most of us would be wetter than we think.  There are probably many people who think blessings are only big and/or tangible things.  While that can be the case, I believe we have so many blessings that may seem small or insignificant until we don't have them. 

For instance, if you are a healthy person i.e. no chronic illnesses or body pains, you don't think much about it until it happens to you.  Then if it happens to you, you realize how good you had it because now those things have altered your life.  Perhaps, you had a good job and life was going great, then the economy changes and you had to rearrange your lifestyle; perhaps getting rid of cable TV, internet, cut back on going out to eat, etc.  We take for granted getting home safely until someone rams into you out of nowhere. 

I think, myself included, when we pray and thank God for our health, our job, our family, etc., we sometimes make our thankfulness so broad and say it almost as a habit that we don't really think about how big of a blessing it is.  Therefore, many of us take a lot of things for granted.  

Let's make a list of blessings that may not seem big but really are blessings:

* a family who loves you

* parents or loved ones who are still alive

* an air conditioner or heater in your car or even having a car 

* the ability to afford getting you hair cut and fixed

* having a roof over your head 

* the ability to see or hear

* the ability to read

* the opportunity to have a child

* having food on your table even if it is a peanut butter sandwich

* the ability to walk or run

* a pillow and a blanket

I could go on and on.  Think about your life.  Ask yourself "if I didn't have this or that would I still be blessed"?  How wet would you really be if your blessings were raindrops?

Let's be real

I don't want to sound negative, but I want to be real.  I've been contemplating this blog for several days.  Most Blogs and Facebook posts are full of encouragement.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that; WE ALL NEED AS MUCH ENCOURAGEMENT AND POSITIVITY IN OUR LIVES AS WE CAN GET!  However, life is really really hard sometimes.

The difficulties do not have to be huge to make a major change in our lives.  Hmm, huge; that depends on your perspective.

Obviously, huge could be:
- Loss of a loved one
- A major illness
- Loss of a job
- Addictions

But huge can also be:
- Not wanting to fake being happy today because you're really not
- Forcing yourself to go to work
- Defeating thoughts in your head telling you 'what's the use of trying'
- Feelings of sadness, but you don't know why
- Frustration with yourself because you're not where you want to be, but you really don't have the desire or motivation to get there
- No motivation to do anything; not even think

I admire people who have a positive attitude and can encourage themselves.  I am an encourager, but  I find it much easier to encourage others.  I find it very hard to encourage myself, but with God's help I'm getting better.

My pastor often says when you preach or teach on something it is usually because you need it yourself.  I find this true personally as well.  As I was thinking about all the things that get posted on Facebook or Blogs, I realized people are stating what they believe but also what they want to believe in.

I guess my main purpose of this message is to let you know that the struggle is real.  It happens at different times for different reasons, but none the less it is real.  AND it's ok.

Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in the United States.  An estimated 40 million adults in the United States have an anxiety disorder.  This does not include teenagers and children who suffer from this disorder.  

There are different types of anxiety disorders with different symptoms.  However, all anxiety disorders have one thing in common: persistent, excessive fear or worry in situations that are not threatening.  People can experience one or more of the following symptoms:

Emotional symptoms:

• Feelings of apprehension or dread

• Feeling tense and jumpy

• Restlessness or irritability

• Anticipating the worst

Physical symptoms:

• Pounding or racing heart and shortness of breath

• Upset stomach

• Sweating, tremors and twitches

• Headaches, fatigue and insomnia

• Upset stomach, frequent urination or diarrhea

Below are different types of anxiety disorders including:  

Panic Attacks

The feelings of a panic attack have similar symptoms to a heart attack.  A panic attack can have symptoms such as chest pain, heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath and stomach upset.  Many people will go to desperate measures to avoid having an attack, including social isolation or avoiding going to specific places.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

The feelings with disorder are chronic, exaggerated worrying about everyday life.  This can consume hours each day, making it hard to concentrate or finish routine daily tasks.  This can cause you to be exhausted by worrying and may experience headaches, tension or nausea.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Unlike shyness, this disorder causes intense fear about social humiliation–“saying something stupid,” or “not knowing what to say.”  Someone with social anxiety disorder may not take part in conversations, contribute to class discussions, or offer their ideas, and may become isolated.

Causes of these anxiety disorders can be genetic and/or stressful/traumatic events such as abuse, death of a loved one, violence or prolonged illness.

The physical symptoms of an anxiety disorder can be easily confused with other medical conditions like heart disease or hyperthyroidism.  Therefore, a doctor will likely perform an evaluation involving a physical examination, an interview and lab tests. After ruling out a medical illness, the doctor may recommend a person see a psychiatrist to make a diagnosis.  A psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in mental health disorders and can prescribe medications if needed.

As each anxiety disorder has a different set of symptoms, the types of treatment that physician may suggest can vary as well.  But there are common types of treatment that are used such as counseling, medications and/or learning relaxation techniques.

I pray this provides good information in understanding one area of mental health issues.