Think about what you think about

Think about what you think about.  Weird suggestion, huh?  But....have you ever done it?  Have you ever paid attention to what goes through your head?  Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself?

For some reason, I woke up one morning with that question on my mind.  I laid in bed thinking about the question and trying to answer it.  These were my thoughts:  'Why do I want to even get up today.  I don't have anything to contribute.  I'm not happy about the way I look.  I'm fat and nothing I put on makes me look decent.  I try to be a good person and positive, but I fail 15 minutes after I get to work.  No one can see God in me.  How can they?  My mouth opens up and before I know it my thoughts are out in the open and I can't take them back.'  The thoughts running through my head alone could depress me enough on a good day.  And that is interesting, because I think these thoughts often whether I'm in a depressed state or not.

My pastor said in a sermon once we have 50,000 thoughts per day and 85% of them are negative.  I have also heard for every negative comment you say or hear it takes 7 positive ones to cancel that one out.

So now, think about what I said.  I counted them and there were 8 negative things I thought before I even got out of bed in less than a 5 minute period.  So, it would take 56 positive thoughts just to cancel out those 8 negative thoughts from those first 5 minutes of the morning.  Now, how many of us really tell ourselves positive things?  Do you answer yourself with something positive when you say or think something negative?  I tried it one morning.  It was pretty difficult!

It took me years of therapy to be able to hear positive things from people.  It took more time to be able to say something nice about myself.  But you know what?  God doesn't make junk!!!!  We all are 'beautifully and wonderfully made' (Psalm 139:14 NIV).  There are qualities about each of us no one else has.  If this is something difficult for you to do, I understand.  But I challenge you to look in the mirror each morning and say at least one positive thing about yourself, but you have to say it out loud.  Then when a negative thought comes across your mind, repeat the positive thing you said to yourself earlier in the day.  Start small.  Start simple.  For example, I have pretty eyes; my hair looks good today; I am a kind person......

Each of us are important and are worth positive thoughts and words!!!!!

Depression can be sneaky!

Depression can sneak up on you.  Life can be floating along, everything going well.  You are living life, doing things with family and friends, and doing your normal routine.

Then one day you just feel blah, but you do not know why so you just shove it off.  Nothing has really happened to cause you to feel that way so you just assume you are tired and it will go away tomorrow.  Then it is a week later and you realize you still feel the same way.  Maybe you have scheduled activities you do not want to do, but you go ahead and do them anyway.  The depression feelings are not as prevalent in your mind, but you keep moving and doing life and keep moving and doing life.  This is a good thing. 

Now it is a couple weeks later and you realize you have not been able to shake these feelings because now you start isolating yourself.  You do not want to participate in anything.  Your house is your friend.  You maybe even take a day off work. 

At this point, you have become aware of your triggers.  What do you do?  You have to keep doing what you should do i.e. go to those activities, call friends to encourage you and let them know what is going on so they can check on you and pray for you.  Journaling is great because as you write sometimes things come out in your writing which your brain did not think about.  Rest.  It is okay to take a day off, but not three days.

If you figure out what is going on, take steps to correct it.  If you are on medication, it could be they need to be adjusted.  If you are dealing with many stressful issues, maybe distancing yourself from those if you can.  If you are a spiritual person, as I am, go to church whether you feel like it or not, look for scriptures which will strengthen you, and pray.

Although in the midst of this time, I get frustrated because I think I should not be getting depressed anymore since I am working so hard to fight against it.  However, the reality is, we all have these times.  If you are clinically depressed which means you have been diagnosed with depression, unfortunately, it may never totally go away, but it is definitely manageable.  Just hang on.  Grab hold of the above things or something that has worked for you in the past!  

Give Yourself Permission

Doesn't that seem like a strange thing to say; give yourself permission?

When we were children, we had to ask our parents or an adult for permission to do something or go somewhere.  Sometimes we would be able to and sometimes not.  As adults, we don't usually have to ask for permission unless it's time off from our job or from some responsibility we have.  In general, however, we can eat when we want, we can be on the computer as much as we want, stay up as long as we want, etc.

I remember when my kids were in school.  They worked really hard at homework, school projects, church activities, and other activities they were involved in.  They had this tendency, even at a young age, to pile on things.  We do this as adults all the time.  I told my kids when they needed a break just to let me know and they had my permission to take a day off from school.  Occasionally, when I could see they were getting to a point of needing a break, I would ask them if they wanted to stay home from school.  I wanted to remind them it was okay to take a break sometimes.

As adults. we have a huge load of responsibility.  We work, go to school, we are married, we volunteer, we go to our children's functions and help them with homework.  We also have to pay bills, go grocery shopping, and clothes shopping for ourselves and our family.  Some of us have grandkids we also want to make time for.  We go to church or other groups we are involved in.  We have to take care of the house and/or the lawn.  The list never stops.

Have you ever given yourself permission to sit and read a book?  How about permission to skip mowing the lawn until tomorrow night?  Will the world come to an end if we don't get it done? We need rest to be the best we can be.

What about permission for other things like being sad, being happy, being silly, or feeling lonely?  It's  okay to have these feelings as well.  As adults, I believe we push those things aside because we have so much to do.  We need to allow ourselves these things as well.  They are just as important as the physical things we need to do.  One of the things my counselor told me was to say it out loud so you can hear yourself.  "Sandy, you have my permission to cry for 15 minutes".  "Sandy, you have my permission to take a 30 minute nap when you get home from work".  Saying things out loud seems to be more effective.  It's amazing what this can do for your well being.  You are giving yourself a gift by giving yourself permission to have or do something you need,
and I believe this will help you be a better you!!!